Okay, Mister, what’s with the box of assorted chocolates, the dozen lovely roses and is that the third time you’ve told me how pretty my hair is? And why does your left eye keep twitching? Are you winking at me? Do you have something in your eye? I’m not sure what’s going on here but I have a funny feeling you were coerced into this bizarre behavior either by some corporate mass marketing scheme determined to pressure men into spending money on discount diamond pendants and overpriced candy, or on February 14th, men all over the world are simultaneously trying to atone for a year’s worth of boxer briefs strewn on the floor and toilet seats left up.
I agree that the Valentine’s Day idea is a fantastic place to start, but it won’t get you completely off the hook. What about the rest of the year? Hmmm? How do you plan on showing me your undying love on those other 364 days? I’m a deep, complicated woman and you might want to think about stepping up your devotion and start reflecting on our love in terms of the perfectly written Hallmark card.
It would be amazing to wake up each morning greeted by a husband eager to pamper and indulge me, just like the perfect first cup of steamy coffee in the morning, which, by the way, was very delicious this morning. I’ve definitely got a big day ahead of me and I appreciate you using the last of the creamer in my cup instead of yours. I slowly sipped that cup inside the warm house as I watched you snow blow our long, uphill driveway this morning. I wonder if you were using that time to give some thought to how you plan on wooing me for the rest of the year.
It’s not like I’m asking for much. You know I just love flowers but I don’t need to receive them every day, maybe only every few days. They’re incredibly delightful and fill my house with wonderful scents, although they really don’t last long and I end up throwing them away, so you really shouldn’t spend too much time on the flowers idea. Speaking of throwing things away, I noticed you emptied the kitchen garbage for me this morning and brought it to the garage. I don’t remember the last time I’ve touched the garbage cans in the garage; I even forget what day the garbage truck comes.
It’s not as if I need to hear you say all those positively dreamy things to me all the time. You certainly do a wonderful job finding the perfect card on Valentine’s Day; that’s for sure. When I read your cards and heartfelt words I just melt inside, knowing you feel that way about me. Maybe you could try a little harder to come up with creative poems on other days too? I’m not asking for full page Allegories, maybe just a few lines of free verse? It’s just that you don’t always say much, in fact, when I’ve had it up to my eyeballs with the kids, running our home or life’s daily stresses, you’re pretty good at saying nothing at all and just listening. So, no rush with the poetry, whenever you feel inspired.
And those heart-shaped cardboard boxes filled with about 2000 calories worth of milky, chocolaty, almondy, truffley goodness sure make a girl’s heart sing! It would be nice if you surprised me more often in a culinary way like that. Lord knows I don’t love to spend lots of the time in the kitchen, which is probably why you bring dinner home at least once a week and take me out to dinner every Saturday night. I know you’ve never been much of a cook, but maybe you could give it a little thought?
And the way you endlessly compliment and flatter me on Valentine’s Day? So sweet! You’re such a charmer on this day aren’t you! I’d love to hear these sweet nothings more often, instead of catching those intense, smoldering gazes you’re always giving me from across a crowded room, somehow always making me feel like I’m the only girl on the planet.
And I just love that you had the kids make me Valentine’s Day cards. How thoughtful of you to help them remember! Maybe you could make an effort like that a few more times during the year? It would mean so much to me; almost as much as it means that you are raising and loving my daughter as though she were your own.
I’m not asking for the world; it would just be nice if you were to show me this Valentine’s Day hype more often. A girl really needs to know she’s loved.